I miss the feeling of being a badass.
Okay, I thought the days would be getting easier, but alas! They are not!
My cravings are becoming more sporadic; however, they are more intense. Let me try to explain to you what I go through.
First, something triggers my craving. For example, a picture of someone enjoying a cancer stick. Then, I begin to think about that beautiful thing hitting my lips, lighting that magic wand and inhaling the smooth, sweet serenity. Oh god, this is when I go into shock mode. My whole body just aches for it. Obviously, my rational brain goes, "NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE ONE!" and tries to rationalize that smoking, even a small amount, will mean defeat!
Well, as you know, the irrational Sam knows this cannot do. She has an intimate love affair with Marlboro 27's. Her unconscious takes over and tries to negotiate and convince the other side.
This could go on for minutes, hours... But, in the end, I'm left exhausted and defeated.
I think I'm getting sick from withdrawing. I'm starting to feel pretty rundown and tired all the time. But! I did get the courage to get into the gym today. Although, I left feeling worse than I did going in. I am reminding myself it'll get better soon.
Okay, I thought the days would be getting easier, but alas! They are not!
My cravings are becoming more sporadic; however, they are more intense. Let me try to explain to you what I go through.
First, something triggers my craving. For example, a picture of someone enjoying a cancer stick. Then, I begin to think about that beautiful thing hitting my lips, lighting that magic wand and inhaling the smooth, sweet serenity. Oh god, this is when I go into shock mode. My whole body just aches for it. Obviously, my rational brain goes, "NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE ONE!" and tries to rationalize that smoking, even a small amount, will mean defeat!
Well, as you know, the irrational Sam knows this cannot do. She has an intimate love affair with Marlboro 27's. Her unconscious takes over and tries to negotiate and convince the other side.
This could go on for minutes, hours... But, in the end, I'm left exhausted and defeated.
I think I'm getting sick from withdrawing. I'm starting to feel pretty rundown and tired all the time. But! I did get the courage to get into the gym today. Although, I left feeling worse than I did going in. I am reminding myself it'll get better soon.
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